Working Mom

It’s been three months since our little man entered our lives and changed us forever. Thus, probably 1 year (including preggy time) of him being part of our family and influencing our decisions. I’ve always been a career driven person and enjoy working. Most new parents would tell us just how much babies change one’s life and would smile knowingly when I told them that I was planning to take 3 months off and would then go back to working. I have managed to structure what I do in such a way that I can mostly work from home and I thought that I would be able to balance things easily.

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Three months later and I still have not quite found my balance. Firstly, I have never had routine in my life and struggle to put my son into a routine. I have had countless raised eyebrows when mentioning my lack of routine to other parents and I understand that I’m setting myself up for a bit of a reality check later on. For my son’s benefit and my own, I’ve started researching routines and hope to follow a fairly flexible one soon. At least we’ve managed to get some sort of bath and sleep routine going, but my dear boy has no plans to “sleep through” any time soon. Every time a mom speaks about her child sleeping for 12 hours non-stop at 3 months, I feel like I’ve done something wrong, but I must admit, I’ll miss some (note – SOME, not all!) of the early morning feeding sessions when he does finally sleep through.

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I have started shooting television again and attending a few meetings. I’ve spent two nights away from my son for speaking engagements and I now understand what they mean when they say your heart will beat outside your ribcage for the rest of your life when you have a baby. Besides the fact that my son was always on my mind and I exhausted my phone battery watching videos of him continuously on the flight, breastfeeding has meant that I have spent lots of time in the most confined spaces hoping people aren’t wondering what the sound is emitting from the airplane toilet cubicle, for example 😉 I recently did a Top Billing shoot from 6pm (Daddy got to do bath time so I could run to work) and by 10pm, the entire crew had to have a coffee break while I sat in a quiet room with my trusted Medela pump wearing my breastfeeding bustier memorising my script – expressing in a gorgeous designer ballgown with perfect hair and make-up – careful not to spill. But, I made it back home in time to do the 2 am feed and cuddle with my son.

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I’ve realized that when it comes to either being a stay at home mom or a working mom, it’s a hard decision that depends on various factors. I enjoy working and feel that taking a few hours out from full-time mommy duties actually makes me a better mom.  I’ve also realized that being a full-time mom is a full time job and take my hat off to women who manage with a newborn baby or a few children and no help.  Before actually being at home on my own with baby for 3 months, I would jokingly remark to my full-time mom friends that they were living the life – probably watching soap operas all day in their PJ’s and meeting for tea at their friends’ houses to gossip. How far that picture was removed from the day-to-day reality of being a mom! Being a mom is the most rewarding full-time job in the world and I’m blessed to be part of this sisterhood of mothers.

 

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Modern Mommy Written by:

19 Comments

  1. Chandre Abrahams
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    WOW is the least i can say! Well done to you! My boys are 3 and a half years and 5 months old and i still don’t sleep through! i am back at work for 2 months now and had the most terrifying experience with my baby at creche / “daycare” he is now at a day mom after i nearly wanted to leave my job because i felt i am not giving him the best of care and after our aweful ordeal we realised a daycare is not for babies. My son is happy with his day mom now and our lives are easier i still feel i miss out on his developments i think but at least i am pleased that he is happy during the day. My 3 year old is a happy chap and loves daycare he comes home with a new song almost everyday. My husband always reminds me that a happy mom means a happy home and thats so true! You looked stunning on Top Billing last week 🙂 laughing at the tea break the crew had to take during the shoot. Happy to see that you go to all lengths to breastfeed and do whats best for your son 🙂

  2. Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Well done Jo-ann! You are doing an amazing job…
    I am a full-time working Mom to a 16 month old and I too had a year long relationship with my Medela breast pump. It was definitely challenging, especially when it came to travelling but I don’t regret a minute of expressing! The benefits of breastfeeding are undeniable and nothing can compare to the bond it strengthens between you and your Baby!
    Keep it up!
    xxx
    Hayley

  3. Lindi Bissolati-Corker
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Oh my word, I LOVE this post. My daughter will be 2 years and 3 months in July and she still does not sleep through. I don’t believe timelines from parents, pediatrician, doctors and friends as to when she will but I believe it will be in her time. I have tried routines since her birth, but she had colic until she was 6 months old. After that, I tried again, and I now sleep when she sleeps. I do not believe in the “crying it out” method (my opinion), so I have worked out a routine shen she sleeps.

    I honestly hoped that once she started educare in January that she would fall asleep immediately after her bath in the evening, but that was not the case 🙂 My manager was so shocked to hear that I have not slept through since her birth, yet I still look fresh everyday. You somehow learn to balance, whether it is early or a bit later in their lives. Each child is different, but the love and care of a mother is all that matters.

    All of the best and good luck.

  4. Latasha joy
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Im soon to be mom and have flexibility where I can spend time with my angelpie and work in between, reading this , make me realise it won’t be all rainbows n sunshine but hey thats life.,, love this blog as im learning and loving your honesty about life and being challenging even for a celebrity . Thank you, stay humble and true

  5. Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Thanks ladies! Love being a mom 🙂 Realising more and more that each day is different, so I’m learning constantly and loving it. Never been more tired or happy in my life!

  6. Enid Ahmed
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    I also have an 8 week old and are desperately trying to get into some form of routine. Honestly did not think it will take this long to get into a routine. Was thinking to myself, I want my house to run like a military base, lol…. Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all do things at on our own pace…All the best

  7. Tanya
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Love reading your posts. My baby is 11 months. I also didn’t have a routine, it was quite a struggle, but we eventually found our own routine. And today she is in some kind of routine (I think…). Thank you for your website.

  8. R. Davids
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Sooo true! Well done 🙂

  9. Samantha
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    My Angel is 4yrs and 3 months and is still not sleeping thru. Her baby sister is now 5 months and 3 weeks old. Last week they were both sick & hubby is in Jozi for work. Oh my word for some reason I made it & the only thing that helped me was knowing God gave me a calmness (which I normally don’t have) to know I have to keep it together so my Angels get better soon. There certainly are days when I wonder how I got thru the day. Then I look at their faces (when they eventually sleep) and realize God gave me 2 beautiful amazing kids whom I will treasure forever. Good luck with everything mommies we have it in us. We’ll make it. Yeah

  10. Fatima
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Jo-Ann, I really enjoyed reading this…my boy is 16months old, and as much as it’s my sleep, I wouldn’t trade every moment I’ve been blessed with! Juggling a career and kids is no easy fate, but I take my hats off to stay at home moms as it really is no joke… A mom is a lifetime job, but also the job of a lifetime 🙂

  11. Lauren
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    Love, my little girl only started sleeping through at 13 months.
    Routine is what works for you and your family! Whatever you decide has to suit your lifestyle. It is important to remain true to what empowers you. Baby boy is gonna love you because of what you do and who you are! You seem to be surviving beautifully. Stay strong in the early hours, they really do pass all to quickly.

  12. jocelyn gangat
    Mon, 30 June 2014
    Reply

    I love your blog. You are doing an awesome job as a mommy. And you will eventually find your balance. The mistake we as moms make is to compare our kids to others and then we’re disappointed with ourselves, yet each child is unique and will develop and grow at their own pace. The first few months is always overwhelming, but you will eventually find your feet. Enjoy! it might not be easy at times but hang in there.xxx

  13. Helena
    Tue, 01 July 2014
    Reply

    Enjoy your precious miracle!

  14. chrisanta nair
    Tue, 01 July 2014
    Reply

    Hi joanne n all you mummies,I’m a mum of a 5month old and from 3months I was pushing routines,easiest way is to work around your baby and your feeds especially if you breastfedding its the best start……<3 my little man gets up at 4:30am plays till about 6am then he has a feed and is up by 7:30am to see his dad leave for work,at 8am he wants a feed and naps till. 9-9:30am then I teach him his motor skills and put him on his tummy to play at 10:30 is bath time by 11am his asleep till 12!!!!#bleh he hates sleeping during the day his up and watches me cook and we play I take him for walks etc,has a feed at 3pm and I put cartoons for him till 4pm then I get him ready to bath,we play on the bed till about 4:30pm then bath n sleeeeep he only gets up for feeds at night n his out again till 4:30 again…..

  15. Ren
    Tue, 01 July 2014
    Reply

    Hi Jo-Ann,

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. We only settled into a routine once baby started solids at 6months and he went to bed a little fuller at night. Routine is hard especially when you’re breastfeeding and demand feed at that. I miss our early morning playtime, it was when he would surprise us with something new etc. Enjoy it, as it only lasts a little while. For me, it wasn’t so much about routine, rules etc. There are no set rules, and love that little man up as much as possible, coz soon he’ll be running around, and mostly into daddy’s arms. Take a relaxed approached, and soon, without even realising it, baba will have found his rhythm and it will just fall in with yours. He just turned 1yr, and this am he surprised me by saying ‘ I la loo’, so who needs sleep anyway hey!? I’m still tired. Slept last yr June 22 ( the day before his birth) last, and I’ve never happier!

  16. Ren
    Tue, 01 July 2014
    Reply

    Oh, and even when they start sleeping through the night, you still don’t sleep. It’s become my body’s rhythm to get up a couple of times and check up on him. My boy goes to bed like clockwork at 7:30/ 8pm, and is up by 6am again. We just naturally found our rhythm, but it’s up to you to see the signs and read your boy, and meet his needs at the time accordingly. Much love to you and good luck.

  17. Danelle Taylor
    Tue, 01 July 2014
    Reply

    Loved this post! Can certainly relate to many of the things you mentioned 🙂
    I also struggled with the routine and I LOVE routine 🙂
    I can REALLY recommend the following book: the secrets of the baby whisperer by Tracy Hogg. This book helped me a lot to get my baby girl (now almost 8months) into a routine.
    I tried Gina Ford and many others but Tracy Hogg was well worth the read and the only routine that Emma (my baby girl) adopted to.
    Good luck with the night time wakings. I stopped dreamfeeding Emma about a month ago and I really miss those night time cuddles.
    From one happy mamma to another 🙂

  18. Pertruska Hendricks (ne Botman)
    Mon, 07 July 2014
    Reply

    Shooo…really inspiring…I have my son after 11yrs….and gosh what a shocker…my baby girl and now 1mo big boy are so different babies.Really struggling with the winds and keeping the pipi down when changing nappy…true boys are def a very different species..

    And wow expressing in designer gown and working out till late -shooo Jo Ann ..you rock
    Dont know about the other moms but Id forgotten the hard work that goes into breastfeeding especially if baby does not latch properly or if baby is just a very hungry baby…gosh…..really had forgotten how sore it can be…

    A big thanks Jo Ann your blog /site def comfort that im not alone and that its a platform of expression for me…

    Enjoy your little bundle of joy they grow fast if I think back when I had my daughter it feels like yesterday

  19. monique leendertz
    Fri, 19 September 2014
    Reply

    I managed to breastfeed my twins for 8 months and I can recall when getting back to work, having to find a place to pump milk when my breasts become engorged was such a headache. It is no doubt the most rewarding feeling to know that you can breastfeed your baby and that you are able to juggle a demanding job and a demanding household as well. In my mind, I think I’m superwoman 🙂

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