Working-mom guilt – the “juggle” is real!

I have always loved the idea of “having it all.” It’s what we all feel we need to aspire to – the whole “Sex in the City” wardrobe, incredible career, perfect husband complete with perfect nails and hair (you – not the husband … necessarily… I see you David B) and an army of little people who look like they’ve just stepped off the pages of baby Vogue. And yes, to a certain extent, we try to perpetuate the fallacy that it’s an effortless feat to attain this – to reach this state of nirvana …

Ok, chicks, let’s quit the crap. Shit .. did I just say “Crap?” 😉 I am typing this post from my gorgeous suite in a hotel situated on the eighth wonder of the world. Am I sipping champagne in a monstrous bath-tub (the water restrictions in South Africa mean that this IS the ultimate luxury for me) and wondering what to wear to dinner??? Nope, I’m on my laptop, scrolling through pictures of my little people (instead of catching up on the 1001 e-mails and invoices, tax returns and proposals I need to work on) whilst expressing … yip, the juggle is real. Working motherhood is a wonderful juxtaposition of words which kind-of mean little. All mothers are working mothers – the idea of stay-at-home moms being on a perpetual holiday is ridiculous. On most days, going to work is a break compared to being at home non-stop cleaning and prepping food and washing and entertaining kids. I love working and I love my family. Does the fact that I’ve left my people for a week make me a bad mom? Nope. Happy mom means happy children (and happy husband, hopefully) and every mom has the right to choose her own path.

I love reading these magazines where it shows Victoria Beckham running around in vertigo-inducing heels and precariously balancing Harper on her hip bone while running her multi- million pound fashion empire. It makes me feel that one day, I can look like I have my ship together (I said “ship” now – not …). I love doing photoshoots and events and posting those pics on Instagram that make people say, “Wow, how does she do it?” That kind of makes me believe that I’m a momma-ninja that does have her ship sorted. They say “fake it till you make it” and I am doing my best to do just that. So, excuse me while I push the dirty dishes out of the way (and m0re specifically my frame) to take a picture of my perfect desk and perpetuate the idea that I am organised. And look the other way when I turn around my skirt as it has crusty leftover cereal on the front and I need to post an Insta-outfit shot that looks like I feed my kids without messing a single spoon on my self.

I’ll continue to perpetuate the dream that I have it all together and find solace in the fact that you “like” my pic and my vibe. Pretty pictures make me happy – yes, it might not be the real world, but it makes me feel like I’m managing the juggle and damn, it IS real 😉

xx Love and light,

Momo

P.S. Fashion illustration by the awesome Hayden Williams – cannot WAIT to show you my new illustrator’s work …

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7 Comments

  1. Cleo Groenewald
    Tue, 07 March 2017
    Reply

    I absolutely love this post. As women we are often made to feel that we have to choose between a career and being a good mother. I am currently on yet another work trip…and although I love my job, my heart aches everytime I have to leave my little man (and his dad) behind. But my career makes me feel valued and like I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted. I don’t believe that makes me a bad mom…I believe it makes me the kind of woman and mother my husband and child can be proud of. And I am truly grateful that I am able to do both. Thank you for making the “juggle” seem that much more doable xxx

  2. Wed, 08 March 2017
    Reply

    Thanks for this amazing piece . I have been thinking of going back to work (had to put that on hold as my family shipped to a new country , with a my then 3month baby ) to support and share in my husbands career growth . That said , the hunger of everything you describe still burns me ( even at 2am when my daughter has a sniffle or needs a little milky to see her to morning ) . I find myself thinking ,,, what’s next ? So this has clearly set ther tone and probably the “validation “‘I needed . It’s ok to not be a stay at home mom ( as much as many desire it ) I do not take it for granted but my brain , my passions , my dreams need me out there to succeed in here (my home, as mom and wife )

  3. Annelize
    Wed, 08 March 2017
    Reply

    Thank you for this post as it is so true… I do feel bad as a working mom that I’m not always there when my little guy has to go swimming, or not always there to pick him up from school or tell him that I’m busy making food… It is normal and I’m not the only one…
    I’m just so lucky that I have an amazing, supporting husband that can take him to his swimming lessons when I can’t, or fetch him from school when I have to work late or keep him busy when I’m cooking…
    A working mom is not a bad mom, she works because she has to and going to work is sometimes a little escape for me as well. The best place is still home, cause that is were my heart is 🙂

  4. chantel
    Wed, 08 March 2017
    Reply

    I really love this post and the comments…only other working moms can begin to understand the guilt that a working mom faces. I have 3 sisters all of whom are either “not moms” or “not working moms”. My mother was also a stay-at-home parent and took care of us while my father worked away! When I had my daughter and started my career it was so difficult to adapt because I wanted to be there everyday, whole day, for everything!!!! I’m so grateful to be married to a wonderful man that’s a wonderful father and to have a job that understands the importance of family! I’m still learning to juggle it all and its not easy (the juggle is real) but recently I got admitted as an attorney and I over heard my daughter telling her friends…that made me so proud and made all the juggling all the more worth it!

  5. Nolu
    Thu, 09 March 2017
    Reply

    Wow inspired by your post.. I am a working mother of two. The guilt is real..

  6. Lauren
    Fri, 10 March 2017
    Reply

    I have to be away for work in another city for three days this coming week and am dreading it and feeling uber guilty already 🙁

  7. Thabang felicia
    Tue, 23 May 2017
    Reply

    Lol,you to honest when I come back home I get straight into mommy mode meaning in my pj’s I get rid of the jewellery and heels and back to feedings and mess😃

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